Communicating With Your Elderly Parents
Guidelines for their children and care-givers
For most of us, it is hard to face the fact that our parents, the people who took care of us, are getting older and may need assistance in their decision-making abilities and caring for themselves. They may also communicate with us less as they age because their ability to understand things may diminish, even if they don't suffer from Alzheimer’s.
Being Prepared
How you interact with your aging parents can make a big difference between getting things done and feeling anxious and stressed. You are now in a different relationship with your parents, but you are still the child, in their eyes. Therefore you have to know your parents and what makes them tick.
Helping them to communicate easily comes from being better-prepared yourself. Knowing ahead of time what to expect and treating the elderly with kindness will enhance the care-giving experience.
Here are some ways to help you communicate better with your elderly parents so that both parties can reduce the chances of getting agitated and stressed-up.
SEEK TO EMPATHISE
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Talk to them lovingly
Be patient with them and don't remind them you've already had the same conversation moments before. Speak gently and talk slower so your parent can understand the information. Speaking louder will not solve the issue if deafness is not the cause. |
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Do not interrupt when they speak
Silence on your part allows your parent to think about what is being discussed as they say it. We have two ears and one mouth so listen attentively when he or she speaks. |
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Never force your parent to talk if he or she doesn't want to
Keep communication simple and open-ended. Trying to remember names or recall a word could be a challenge for your parent, so try to understand his or her frustration. |
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Give gentle reminders such as names, if your parent is having trouble remembering
Stay calm if they cannot remember things or names. If your parent mentions a wrong name or a silly statement, keep your composure. Don’t shout at them because this may damage your parent's dignity and self-worth. |
CONVERSATION BASICS
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Sit face-to-face when a having conversation with them
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Maintain eye contact as this is a powerful form of non-verbal communication to indicate that you are engaged and interested in the conversation. |
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Your parents may have vision and hearing loss, so reading your lips may be crucial for them to receive your information correctly. |
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Sitting in front of them may also reduce distractions. Turn off your cell phone to avoid interruptions. |
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Stick to one topic at a time
Information overload can confuse your elderly parents. Stick to one topic at a time before moving on to the next. |
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Use short, simple words and sentences
Simplifying information and speaking in a manner that can be easily understood is one of the best ways to ensure that your parents will follow your conversation. Speak distinctly and clearly, but not loudly. |
RESPECTING DIFFERENCES
Generation gaps can create differences in opinion, views and general outlooks on life. An attitude of respect and tolerance towards beliefs different from your own can help you to better handle communications with your elderly parents. Awareness of these differences can help you to avoid misunderstandings or accidental insults.
Have respect for the autonomy of your elderly parents – don't try to do things for them that they can still do for themselves. Allow your parents to maintain their dignity, while still being helpful if needed or asked.
Your parents have lived a long time and have learned a great deal during their lives. They may have made great sacrifices to give you the life you now have. Treat your parents with love and respect, and reassure them that you will be there for them as they age.
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